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Nursing Home in Melbourne

What should I do if my parent doesn’t want to go to a nursing home

Over the years, I’ve seen how hard it can be when parents are reluctant to accept aged care. It’s a tough conversation and an emotional journey for everyone involved.
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Nursing Home in Melbourne | If parents are reluctant

1. Start with small steps at home

For many older adults, the thought of moving into aged care can feel overwhelming. Starting with in-home support can make a big difference. 

It might mean organising help with cleaning, shopping, or personal care. Family and friends can chip in, or you can look into professional services. There are government-subsidised programs and private services available that offer varying levels of care.

Simple changes, like adding grab rails, a personal alarm, or fall prevention measures, can help them feel safe and comfortable at home.

2. Have open, ongoing conversations

Talking about aged care isn’t a one-off chat. It often takes time and patience. 

Focus on what’s important to your parent—whether it’s keeping their independence, staying connected to friends, or simply feeling heard. The key is to have a calm, supportive conversation rather than rushing into decisions.

Sometimes, involving a trusted family member, a friend, or even a healthcare professional can help. They might hear the message more clearly from someone outside the immediate family.

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3. Understand their rights

It’s important to know that in Australia, it’s illegal to force someone into aged care against their will. Unless your parent has been assessed as unable to make decisions for themselves—such as due to a medical condition like dementia—they have the right to choose where and how they live, even if it’s not what you’d prefer.

“This can be really hard when you’re worried about their safety, but it’s important to respect their rights. It’s about helping them while still letting them stay in control of their own life.”
Bashar Bitar
Bashar Bitar
Operations Manager at Hope Aged Care
If decision-making does become a concern, having legal arrangements like an enduring guardian in place can help, but this is something that needs to be discussed early on.
“If staying at home is no longer an option, residential aged care may be the next step.”
Bashar Bitar
Bashar Bitar
Operations Manager at Hope Aged Care
This can be a difficult decision, and it’s important to respect your parent’s feelings about their independence. You can take small steps together—visit a few nursing homes, talk about what they might enjoy, and give them the chance to ask questions. At Hope Aged Care, we often find that once families see what’s available, they feel reassured. The right nursing home can help your parent feel safe, cared for, and part of a community.

4. Know what to do if decision-making gets tricky

If your parent can no longer make decisions for themselves, it can be a really difficult time.

The first thing to do is check if they already have an enduring guardian or power of attorney in place. These legal arrangements let a trusted person make decisions for them, including things like healthcare, where they live, and managing their finances. Most often, this would be a spouse, adult child, or close family member.

If no one has been appointed, or if family members can’t agree, a court or tribunal (like the Victorian Civil and Administrative Tribunal in Melbourne) may need to step in. They can appoint an independent guardian, which could be a trusted friend or, in some cases, a public guardian like the Office of the Public Advocate.

Healthcare professionals are also important in this process. A doctor or specialist may need to assess your parent’s ability to make decisions and help determine the best next steps.

At Hope Aged Care, we understand how challenging this can be. If you’re feeling unsure or overwhelmed, we’re here to support you and guide you through the process.

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Looking after yourself

It’s natural to feel guilt, sadness, or frustration during all this. Balancing your parent’s needs with your own can be challenging.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, reach out for help—whether it’s talking to friends, joining a support group, or seeking professional advice. At Hope Aged Care, we’re here to listen and help where we can.

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Entry into Hope Aged Care Homes

There are two types of fees payable in the aged care

1: Daily Care Fee
2: Accommodation Payment

1: Daily Care fee: The daily fee consists of:

  • Basic Daily Care Fee: Every person in residential aged care is required to pay a Basic Daily Fee, which covers all levels of care and assistance. The basic daily fee is approximately 85% of the single person rate of the basic age pension. The government sets the price on 20 March and 20 September each year, changing in line with increases to the aged pension.

    Prices are published on the Department of Health website.

     

  • Means Tested Care Fee: The government requires those who can afford to contribute more towards their care to do so. As such, the Department of Human Services will determine if a resident is required to pay a Means Tested Care Fee in addition to Basic Daily Fee. This amount is based on an assessment of the new resident’s income and assets. Potential residents will be notified if a Means Tested Care Fee is payable when they receive their Centrelink Assessment letter. There are yearly and lifetime Maximum Means Tested Care Fees. The Maximum Means Tested Care Fee you can be asked to pay is $31,706.83 each year or $76,096.50 in your lifetime. These caps are indexed and change each time there is an increase in the aged pension. We recommend you seek independent financial advice.

2: Accommodation Payment:

The total Accommodation Payment amount will vary depending on the accommodation type chosen by the resident. The payment method is also determined by the resident, who can choose between paying a RAD (Refundable Accommodation Deposit), a DAP (Daily Accommodation Payment) or a combination of both.

  • Refundable Accommodation Deposit (RAD): A Refundable Accommodation Deposit (RAD) is a one-off lump sum payment made to the aged care provider. It varies according to the room chosen by the resident. The RAD is fully refundable on departure. Upon payment of the RAD the resident must be left a minimum of $57,000 in cash / assets. If the RAD is paid in full within 7 days of admission no interest will be charged. The deposit is fully refunded when you leave the aged care residence, less any amounts you have agreed to have deducted. Those residents transferring to another aged care residence or returning home will have their RAD refunded within 14 days from discharge. In the case of a deceased resident, the RAD will be refunded within 14 days of receipt of a certified copy of the Grant of Probate.

  • Daily Accommodation Payment (DAP) A Daily Accommodation Payment (DAP) is a rental-type payment. Instead of paying for your accommodation in full (as a RAD) an ongoing daily payment can be selected. The DAP is calculated by multiplying the agreed RAD amount by the government legislated interest rate (currently 7.9% per annum)

  • COMBINATION PAYMENT (RAD + DAP) You can opt to pay part of the accommodation payment as a lump sum RAD and then the balance via DAP payments. DAP payments will be calculated based on the outstanding RAD amount. If you choose a combination of RAD and DAP and you elect to have the DAP taken from the RAD, your DAP payment will increase over time as the RAD amount is reduced.

There are more payment options like RAC and DAC for partially supported residents.

Please reach out to one of our financial department staff for more clarification on [email protected]